9 Ways to Survive When Your School Heater is Broken

How my school feels right now.

I love my school, but our heater really is the worst. In
past years, it would be mid-morning before the whole building was warmed. This year it decided it had had enough and started blowing out cold air only, like
an obstinate child. I posted a Facebook status about this situation earlier this week, and was surprised to find how not uncommon it is to have not-awesome
central heating. Freezing teachers unite!

Despite my misery, I have been very impressed by the
creativity and innovation of my colleagues and I for the past week as our heater gets fixed. I wanted to share ways we’ve learned to cope with our little Arctic tundra.

1. Microwave a cup of water and dip your hands in
it repeatedly.
Be sure you have gloves or mittens to slip into directly afterwards, or your hands will be in a Jack-at-the-end-of-Titanic-type situation.

2. Print off blank Word documents and hold the warm paper. Sometimes if nobody is watching I hug it, too. Heavenly.  

3. Hold your hands next to the projector fan.

4.  Assign a student the task of breathing on your
But good luck explaining that one to your administrator when he/she drops in.

5. Find someone with a class pet and ask to cuddle
The only class pet I can think of at our school is a giant snake, which I don’t think would be warm, even after Googling it.

6.Wear a headband over your nose. Will keep your
nose warm* without affecting your ability to yell at students who are still running in the hallways 6 months into the school year.

7. Invest in a Keurig and make a cup of coffee, tea, or hot chocolate every five minutes. Or make yourself a hot toddy! Just kidding! Wait until you get home!

8. If the heater is broken enough to demand that
you wear mittens indoors, use two Q-tips to type your emails.

It’s not as bad as you’d think.

9. Create a bonfire in the center of your classroom
using standardized testing manuals and professional development books you never asked for.

Hahahaha. Isn’t it pretty to think so?

I hope your heater is less of a jerk than mine is.  

And if you teach on a tropical island don’t talk to me.  



*first I typed “news,” as in, “It will keep your news warm,” and it is still making me laugh. MY NEWWWWS IS KEWWWWWLD